is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize