all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
