**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The Olympian is in my bed
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
