I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my being single is dangerous.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
