We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
