i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
