i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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