okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize