Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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