I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
