The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
