So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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