we have officially lost it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
