someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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