Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
