Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We had sex on a dog bed..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
