We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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