He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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