Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
well you can't waste a boner
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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