when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
