he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
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