I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
