I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
