I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize