No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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