I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
