who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
