But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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