They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
