oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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