I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize