i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
