All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize