So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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