We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
