I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
