I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I woke up under a house in Key West
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