Sponge bath it is.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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