I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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