Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
