Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Congratulations! We have a period
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