Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
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