just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
