We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
