I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
COCAINE IS GR8
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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