Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
