Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize