im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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