so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize