It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
