i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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