going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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