At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
