he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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