I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
