ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
