my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
