Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
