god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Randomize