As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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