ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
