Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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