I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize