12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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