barbara walters just said penis...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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