i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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