i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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