I heard we made out
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
