I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
