I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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