I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
