Sry I called you an 8
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
this hospital has no fireball
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
