I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
