She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
that's an acceptable place to lick
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
