Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
