Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
