guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
