He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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